"Nerd Day"

So.. I haven't blogged for awhile, and I typically blog about races. But I feel compelled to write today. I have a heavy heart... and need to express my thoughts.

Today, a friend posted what I first perceived as the most adorable picture of her son on Facebook. I absolutely adore my friend.. and her kid.. but as I looked at the picture and read the caption, I became very, very disturbed. The picture was of her son wearing polyester-ish pants hiked up to mid-belly, a striped shirt buttoned up around the neck, with slicked back hair, and thick black-rimmed glasses with a strip of masking tape holding the lenses together at the bridge. The caption said he was "ready for Nerd Day at school".

I immediately reverted to my childhood - to the days when I was ridiculed for being a "nerd." I couldn't help but wonder what teacher - what administrator - would condone such a "Spirit Week" activity at their school.

Make no mistake: this is NOT an issue with this young boy, with his mother (who inspires me greatly), or with the MAJORITY of students who participated in this "Spirit Week" activity. As eleven, twelve, and thirteen year-olds, they are INNOCENT and could never be expected to fully comprehend the bigger issue at hand here. That issue is the negative connotation that surrounds the word, "nerd."

Perhaps I'm hypersensitive to "Nerd Day" because I WAS teased... everyday... when I was their age. I was teased for having greasy hair (because I never had access to regular baths or showers or hygiene products); I was teased for wearing clothes that were too small or too tight (because I came from a single parent home in which my mom had a mental disorder,no job and thus, no money. We couldn't buy clothes and we relied on sporadic church offerings of food and clothing to provide for us); I was teased incessantly for my hygiene, for my crooked and cavity-filled teeth, for my socioeconomic status, for my appearance, for being quiet and for being reclusive (because I was ashamed of what I looked like and the fact that we didn't have money or even a steady home).

I would have been DEVASTATED by "Nerd Day".

I understand fully: I was/am the MINORITY. Most kids (and many of their parents) would never even think that a day so "innocent" would create such discomfort. For these children, "Nerd Day" is FUN... an opportunity to dress SILLY. But for those of us who were or are still picked on, "Nerd Day" is a chance for other kids to be permitted to continue the ridicule. I cannot imagine there weren't other children at the school today who were uncomfortable with or self-conscious about the day's theme.

The definition of Nerd is, "An insignificant student who is ridiculed as being affected or boringly studious." An alternate definition suggest it is, "an intelligent but single-minded expert in a particular technical field or profession." Neither is very "positive" (who wants to be called "insignificant" or "single-minded?").

As a teenager, I was PROFOUNDLY affected by Edwin Arlington Robinson's poem about a seemingly wealthy, happy and admired person who was quietly (and unbenowst to any other) battling inner demons, Richard Cory. The first 15 lines of this 16-line poem describe this man and his trip to town and how others saw him as being wealthy, educated and mannerly. The poem's 16th line then explains that after that trip to town, he "went home and put a bullet through his head."

I am reminded constantly of the dozens of young people across this nation who chose to take their own lives this past year after relentless bullying.

Like those victims and others, bullied kids are often too afraid to speak. I was afraid. I wanted to be "accepted" - by the popular crowd... by any crowd.

I still live today with the insecurities caused from the ridicule of my adolescent years and I still strive to overcome the feelings of insignificance. Even though I have become an "accomplished" scholar and athlete, I am still heavily moved by the story of Richard Cory today and feel it explains so much that is deeply rooted inside of me. Don't worry... I'm not going to put a gun to my head... but I have to admit it has sometimes been difficult to overcome those latent thoughts. That might partially explain also why I choose not to own a gun.

As educators, we have an obligation to protect our children. Administrators and teachers who condone and promote days like "Nerd Day" have most likely never been the focus of unwanted ridicule themselves. They may be oblivious to the fact that it may not be "fun" or "silly" for everyone. I also realize that some kids embrace the notion that they are "nerds." But we (especially as educators) need to protect those that do not. We must advocate for tolerance of all populations, regardless of gender, religion, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status.. etc. We also have an obligation to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves and to protect them from not only others, but from feelings of discomfort. This MINORITY are the group that need US the most...and that includes the "nerds."